JOkes
Ah Seng wants to make love with Ah
Lian but he is afraid that Ah Lian
will get pregnant, so he approaches
his friend Ah Beng for advice. Ah Beng
said "Aiya, very easy one lah. Nah,
take this packet of condoms and follow
the instructions, nothing will happen
one." So Ah Seng takes the condom and
at night makes love with Ah Lian. Two
months later, Ah Seng comes to look
for Ah Beng and tells him that Ah Lian
is pregnant.
"Cannot be what, did you follow the
instructions or not?" asks Ah Beng.
"Na -bei! Got lah. The box
says "Stretch the condom over organ
before intercourse, I got no organ, so
I stretch it over my piano loh."
=======================================
================
Ah Beng to a long-distance telephone
operator:
"Could you please tell me the time
difference between
Taipei and Las Vegas?"
Operator: "Just a minute……"
Ah Beng: "Thank You," and puts down
the phone.
=======================================
================
At a bar in New York, the man to Ah
Beng's left tells
the bartender," JOHNNIE WALKER,
SINGLE." and his
companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and
asks," AND YOU,
SIR?"
Ah Beng replies:" Tan Ah Beng,
MARRIED."
=======================================
================
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd
been working on
quite for some time, Ah Beng proudly
shows off the
finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me ONLY FIVE MONTHS TO DO
IT," Ah Beng brags.
"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG," the
friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL."
Ah Beng replies," NO LAH, SEE THIS
BOX, IT IS WRITTEN
FOR 4-7YRS, LEH!"
=======================================
================
Ah Beng took part in the Singapore
Manhunt
Competition. During the Q&A segment,
the host asks,
"Name a drink that begins with the
letter 'G'."
The crowd shouts, "Gin! Gin!"
Others exclaim, "No it's Grape Juice!"
Another smart aleck yells, "Alamak,
Gatorade!"
Host: "Quiet please."
Ah Beng laughs hysterically like a
hyena before
replying, "C'mon man, you think I need
your help? I
got more original answer: Guni!"(cow
milk in Hokkien).
=======================================
================
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer
and was using
it when he encountered some problems.
He decided to
use the 'Help' command.
After some tries, he became irritated
and called the
computer retailer for support.
Ah Beng:" I pressed the 'F1' key for
help…but it's
been over half an hour and still
nobody has came to
help me???"
Computer Retailer:...............
=======================================
================
In an English class:
Teacher: "Class, do you know the
meaning of parents?"
Ah Beng: "Yes, teacher, it means
father and mother."
Teacher: "Good. Can you give me an
example?"
Ah Beng: "Sure. Cowboy's parents mean
cowboy's father
and mother. Also can say
Cowboy's father is Cow Pay and
Cowboy's mother is Cow
Boo. So together we say Cow Pay Cow
Boo (KPKB)."
Teacher fainted...............
=======================================
================
Ah Beng with his two red ears went to
his doctor. The
doctor asked him what happened to his
ears and he
answered," I was ironing a shirt and
the phone ring
loh but instead of picking up the
phone, I
accidentally picked up the iron and
stuck it to my
ear. So kena loh!" "Oh dear!" the
doctor exclaimed in
disbelief. "But…what happen to the
other ear?"
"Aiyah! That stoooopid dumbo called
back!"
=======================================
================
Ah Beng and Ah Seng rent a boat and
fish in a lake
everyday.
One day, they caught 30 fishes.
Ah Beng said to Ah Seng," Mark this
spot so that we
can come back here again tomorrow."
The next day, when they were driving
to rent the boat,
Ah Beng asked Ah Seng," Did you mark
that spot?" Ah
Seng replied," Yeah, I put a big X on
the bottom of
the boat,"
Ah Beng said," You stupid fool! What
i
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